I'd say remember how YOU caused this scenario and do it every time you fancy watching g something decent on the box!
So, I come home from work, 12 hour shift, im knackered, and wife is bla bla bla , im not listening, (as usual)
then she decides to show me, a new top she bought for a doo we HAVE to go to, and she tries it on, and asks
............................................................................................................................................
The bloody question
Do i like it , mm yes.
does it look alright , mmm yes,
does it fit me (her) mm yes,
and then the argument starts, I don't show any emotion, I don't know if it fits or not
How the F***K do I know if it makes her tits look bigger or what, and lastly
so she's not speaking to me
DO I CARE, NO!!!
so im upstairs in the spare room, (nice bed) watching what I want, and on the laptop, got a couple of beers,
BLISS .....................................................
Presumably you know how big her jugs normally look?
I got slapped a few weeks back....
Does this skirt make my bum look big?
I replied. "No your bum makes your bum look big"
Steve, Steve, Steve!
You should have mastered this by now. Always answer quickly, firmly and positively.
Mrs "Does my bum look big in these trousers"
Me "Your bum would look big in Australia"
No sense of humour some people
Tell her you've been offered some help to make an appropriate judgement.
We just need some pics.
I'm single (again) now
Not mastered the responses, probably never will
However it's always a leading question
You buy a woman any clothes and there is no way you will succeed
To tight your insensitive
To loose "you think I'm that fat"
The right size and the dress size will be wrong
It fits but the lable says 16 not 14 or less
Your all doomed
Except me
I'm one of the younger generation on here (33now) and regularly get myself banished to the spare room! But I do it on purpose so i can sit with a
few beers and watch what I want.
I'd say remember how YOU caused this scenario and do it every time you fancy watching g something decent on the box!
just say its not the dress but all the cake a chocolate you scoffed that makes your bum look big
If you wish to be banished to the spare room try this.
When you come home from work say ..
" Wow honey you look great, have you lost weight ? Turn around... oh no there it is.
It's when they won't fit in the car..... hilarious, very, to watch them try and squeeze the rear end in. JP (especially) didn't design the older R1oT for passengers with fat bottoms (or long legs). Westfield got the idea quickly, as have most, make it Wide, very.
Some good responses,
Ive remembered the scenario and could use it at a later "I want some me time" in the spare room
quote:
Originally posted by snapper
I'm single (again) now
Not mastered the responses, probably never will...
quote:
Originally posted by steve m
DO I CARE, NO!!!
so im upstairs in the spare room, (nice bed) watching what I want, and on the laptop, got a couple of beers,
BLISS .....................................................
quote:
Originally posted by mcerd1
she only spend a max. of 10min in a shop
Personally I find a technique called deflection helps in these situations...
1. Change the subject, 'hold on a minute love, I'm just going to put the kettle on', just getting changed', going to the
loo...what ever to by your self some time, problem is they generally have been waiting for this very moment and won't drop the subject.
2. Be warned this needs some acting abilities, and also the ability not to take yourself seriously. As soon as they hit you with the question, throw a
tantrum... 'Oh its always about you', 'you never comment on what I ware', 'life does not revolve around x y and z', or
the ultimate 'you never show this much attention about my kit car' add a stamping foot just for enforcement, throw your hands in the air,
and if it's works milk it for all it's worth, hand her a spanner.
Oh course it can blow up in your face and you find yourself sleeping in the shed!!!
"It's all about that bass"
video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyTTX6Wlf1Y
Ummm....like this one better
quote:
Originally posted by spiderman
If you wish to be banished to the spare room try this.
When you come home from work say ..
" Wow honey you look great, have you lost weight ? Turn around... oh no there it is.
A friend of mine (and I really do mean someone else and not me!), when his wife asked what she was getting for Christmas replied 'fatter'. Needless to say, they are now divorced.
The problem as I see it is that you have not trained your potential wives right from the start. You should have begun with an opening line similar to
that which I used. The VERY FIRST thing I ever said to my wife was :
"By god your ugly!".
Yep. that's right, took her a week to speak to me, but by then she was hooked. I just had to explain to her that the line was from Faulty Towers
which was on TV at the time and I was thinking of that at the moment she turned round and looked at me while I was running through the lines of the
latest program episode and its not my fault if she took it the wrong way and didn't give me a chance to explain it there and then, oh and do you
fancy dating me. 
The School bus has a lot to answer for.
edit bit. Oh and the other trick is NEVER EVER give a straight or honest answer. After a short time they NEVER ask those dangerous questions again
because they know what answer they will get.
[Edited on 13/11/14 by jollygreengiant]
quote:
Originally posted by motorcycle_mayhem
It's when they won't fit in the car..... hilarious...
I was 58 last week and been with my wife since I was 19 and I haven't been (clothes) shopping with her yet. So lots of new things still to look
forward too. Only got married 3 years ago after a 30 year engagement.
Just wanted to be sure.
It is a setup. Nothing you can answer will suit. Best of luck to you though!!
quote:
Originally posted by HowardB
"It's all about that bass"
video
quote:
Originally posted by jeffw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyTTX6Wlf1Y
Ummm....like this one better
I heard this joke the other day which might help.
Man shaving in bathroom, wife walks in wearing new skirt.
"I'm a bit worried about this new outfit.... Do you think this makes my bum look big?"
Man, thinks for a few moments,
"Well, to be fair it is a very small bathroom"
try this video ;-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTx5sqvVJ4
I've never seen the video to that before!
