Printable Version | Subscribe | Add to Favourites
<<  1    2  >>
New Topic New Poll New Reply
Author: Subject: Does my bum look big in this (not mine)
steve m

posted on 12/11/14 at 08:11 PM Reply With Quote
Does my bum look big in this (not mine)

So, I come home from work, 12 hour shift, im knackered, and wife is bla bla bla , im not listening, (as usual)
then she decides to show me, a new top she bought for a doo we HAVE to go to, and she tries it on, and asks ............................................................................................................................................

The bloody question

Do i like it , mm yes.
does it look alright , mmm yes,
does it fit me (her) mm yes,

and then the argument starts, I don't show any emotion, I don't know if it fits or not

How the F***K do I know if it makes her tits look bigger or what, and lastly

so she's not speaking to me

DO I CARE, NO!!!

so im upstairs in the spare room, (nice bed) watching what I want, and on the laptop, got a couple of beers,


BLISS .....................................................





Thats was probably spelt wrong, or had some grammer, that the "grammer police have to have a moan at




View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
blakep82

posted on 12/11/14 at 08:14 PM Reply With Quote
Presumably you know how big her jugs normally look?





________________________

IVA manual link http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?type=RESOURCES&itemId=1081997083

don't write OT on a new thread title, you're creating the topic, everything you write is very much ON topic!

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
ash_hammond

posted on 12/11/14 at 08:19 PM Reply With Quote
I got slapped a few weeks back....

Does this skirt make my bum look big?

I replied. "No your bum makes your bum look big"







.: www.mac1motorsports.co.uk | www.m1moc.com :.

View User's Profile Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member This User Has MSN Messenger
nick205

posted on 12/11/14 at 08:21 PM Reply With Quote
Steve, Steve, Steve!

You should have mastered this by now. Always answer quickly, firmly and positively.






View User's Profile Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member
SCAR

posted on 12/11/14 at 08:23 PM Reply With Quote
Mrs "Does my bum look big in these trousers"
Me "Your bum would look big in Australia"
No sense of humour some people

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
TimC

posted on 12/11/14 at 09:03 PM Reply With Quote
Tell her you've been offered some help to make an appropriate judgement.

We just need some pics.






View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
snapper

posted on 12/11/14 at 09:09 PM Reply With Quote
I'm single (again) now
Not mastered the responses, probably never will
However it's always a leading question
You buy a woman any clothes and there is no way you will succeed
To tight your insensitive
To loose "you think I'm that fat"
The right size and the dress size will be wrong
It fits but the lable says 16 not 14 or less

Your all doomed

Except me





I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to wee my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
daniel mason

posted on 12/11/14 at 09:18 PM Reply With Quote
I'm one of the younger generation on here (33now) and regularly get myself banished to the spare room! But I do it on purpose so i can sit with a few beers and watch what I want.
I'd say remember how YOU caused this scenario and do it every time you fancy watching g something decent on the box!

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
Rod Ends

posted on 12/11/14 at 10:31 PM Reply With Quote
Take Courage ad
Take Courage ad

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Mr Whippy

posted on 12/11/14 at 11:58 PM Reply With Quote
just say its not the dress but all the cake a chocolate you scoffed that makes your bum look big
View User's Profile Visit User's Homepage View All Posts By User U2U Member   Mr+Whippy 's Aim
spiderman

posted on 13/11/14 at 03:46 AM Reply With Quote
If you wish to be banished to the spare room try this.

When you come home from work say ..
" Wow honey you look great, have you lost weight ? Turn around... oh no there it is.





Spider

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
motorcycle_mayhem

posted on 13/11/14 at 07:42 AM Reply With Quote
It's when they won't fit in the car..... hilarious, very, to watch them try and squeeze the rear end in. JP (especially) didn't design the older R1oT for passengers with fat bottoms (or long legs). Westfield got the idea quickly, as have most, make it Wide, very.
View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
steve m

posted on 13/11/14 at 08:31 AM Reply With Quote
Some good responses,

Ive remembered the scenario and could use it at a later "I want some me time" in the spare room





Thats was probably spelt wrong, or had some grammer, that the "grammer police have to have a moan at




View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
mcerd1

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:06 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snapper
I'm single (again) now
Not mastered the responses, probably never will...

I'm not sure its possible to master the responses - I'm just glad that my GF is quite straightforward and doesn't play the "you think I'm that fat" game too much...

the general rule I go with if I don't want banished is does the item of clothing in question make you more or less inclined to rip it off her and throw it on the floor - as we all know that clothes look best on the bedroom floor

I don't think she'd want me to buy her clothes without her being there to try them on and if we do go shopping she only spend a max. of 10min in a shop (so that makes my life a bit easier) nice underwear is a different story though, but I'm not complaining about that and I know what size that is





- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
fesycresy

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:10 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by steve m

DO I CARE, NO!!!

so im upstairs in the spare room, (nice bed) watching what I want, and on the laptop, got a couple of beers,


BLISS .....................................................



Porn is only a short term solution, put the lap top away, go and apologise





-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member   fesycresy 's Aim
r1_pete

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:10 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mcerd1
she only spend a max. of 10min in a shop


My You're one patient chap....

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
TheGiantTribble

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:12 AM Reply With Quote
Personally I find a technique called deflection helps in these situations...

1. Change the subject, 'hold on a minute love, I'm just going to put the kettle on', just getting changed', going to the loo...what ever to by your self some time, problem is they generally have been waiting for this very moment and won't drop the subject.

2. Be warned this needs some acting abilities, and also the ability not to take yourself seriously. As soon as they hit you with the question, throw a tantrum... 'Oh its always about you', 'you never comment on what I ware', 'life does not revolve around x y and z', or the ultimate 'you never show this much attention about my kit car' add a stamping foot just for enforcement, throw your hands in the air, and if it's works milk it for all it's worth, hand her a spanner.

Oh course it can blow up in your face and you find yourself sleeping in the shed!!!

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
HowardB

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:24 AM Reply With Quote
"It's all about that bass"

video








Howard

Fisher Fury was 2000 Zetec - now a 1600 (it Lives again and goes zoom)

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
jeffw

posted on 13/11/14 at 09:35 AM Reply With Quote
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyTTX6Wlf1Y

Ummm....like this one better






View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
trextr7monkey

posted on 13/11/14 at 10:00 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spiderman
If you wish to be banished to the spare room try this.

When you come home from work say ..
" Wow honey you look great, have you lost weight ? Turn around... oh no there it is.


Getting back to the car theme:
Variation on the TR7 joke when launched some Italian designer walked round it and said "Oh no They have done it to the other side as well!"
Bstd!
atb
Mike





http://www.flickr.com/photos/14016102@N00/ (cut and paste this dodgey link)

Our most recent pics are here:
http://s129.photobucket.com/albums/p211/trextr7monkey/

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
SteveWallace

posted on 13/11/14 at 10:52 AM Reply With Quote
A friend of mine (and I really do mean someone else and not me!), when his wife asked what she was getting for Christmas replied 'fatter'. Needless to say, they are now divorced.
View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
jollygreengiant

posted on 13/11/14 at 11:19 AM Reply With Quote
The problem as I see it is that you have not trained your potential wives right from the start. You should have begun with an opening line similar to that which I used. The VERY FIRST thing I ever said to my wife was :















"By god your ugly!".




Yep. that's right, took her a week to speak to me, but by then she was hooked. I just had to explain to her that the line was from Faulty Towers which was on TV at the time and I was thinking of that at the moment she turned round and looked at me while I was running through the lines of the latest program episode and its not my fault if she took it the wrong way and didn't give me a chance to explain it there and then, oh and do you fancy dating me.

The School bus has a lot to answer for.

edit bit. Oh and the other trick is NEVER EVER give a straight or honest answer. After a short time they NEVER ask those dangerous questions again because they know what answer they will get.

[Edited on 13/11/14 by jollygreengiant]





Beware of the Goldfish in the tulip mines. The ONLY defence against them is smoking peanut butter sandwiches.

View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member   jollygreengiant 's Aim This User Has MSN Messenger
dhutch

posted on 13/11/14 at 12:43 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by motorcycle_mayhem
It's when they won't fit in the car..... hilarious...

As a narrow westfield owner, with grp seats that a far from wide, I have seen this a few times.

Fortunately by girlfriend fits without issue, but I have several friends that have needed help getting out again or just declined to try!


Daniel

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
SCAR

posted on 13/11/14 at 01:23 PM Reply With Quote
I was 58 last week and been with my wife since I was 19 and I haven't been (clothes) shopping with her yet. So lots of new things still to look forward too. Only got married 3 years ago after a 30 year engagement.
Just wanted to be sure.

View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Posts By User U2U Member
RK

posted on 13/11/14 at 01:42 PM Reply With Quote
It is a setup. Nothing you can answer will suit. Best of luck to you though!!
View User's Profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
<<  1    2  >>
New Topic New Poll New Reply


go to top






Website design and SEO by Studio Montage

All content 2001-16 LocostBuilders. Reproduction prohibited
Opinions expressed in public posts are those of the author and do not necessarily represent
the views of other users or any member of the LocostBuilders team.
Running XMB 1.8 Partagium [ 2002 XMB Group] on Apache under CentOS Linux
Founded, built and operated by ChrisW.