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Author: Subject: Longleat
joneh

posted on 23/11/14 at 09:35 AM Reply With Quote
Longleat

It's probably wrong to laugh at other peoples misfotune, but the carnage I witness each time I go through the monkey enclosure cracks me up.

Made it through relatively unscathed but the car in front had the rear washer unscrewed and about a foot of rubber hose pulled through. It was mounted above the tailgate so I assume it's broken somewhere in the roof lining... There are warnings everywhere that your car will get damaged, but I reckon most people expect an aerial or bent wiper blade.

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nick-york

posted on 23/11/14 at 10:03 AM Reply With Quote
A lot of years ago I went there with my partener at the time in her car which had a rubber spoiler on the back. And guess what ! Yea a monkey bit a big chunk out of it ! It wasnt funny at the time but there was a reminder there for a few years .and so funny telling everybody who wanted to know what had happened to the spoiler ! Certainly an entertaining place
B

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Jenko

posted on 23/11/14 at 10:33 AM Reply With Quote
The monkeys attack certain cars. Rumor has it, they are collecting enough bits build a complete car, they then plan to bust out of the enclosure and drive to Scotland. GCHQ are on the case and monitoring all communications between the monkey gangs.

One word of advice I have for them is don't use Renault coil packs for the escape vehical, as I guarantee they won't get to the M5.





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Ben_Copeland

posted on 23/11/14 at 11:11 AM Reply With Quote
No change I'd take any car through there, although electircifing the exterior of the car would be amusing





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joneh

posted on 23/11/14 at 11:16 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ben_Copeland
No change I'd take any car through there, although electircifing the exterior of the car would be amusing


Don't blame you, I was twitching a bit as I drove through, but not much they can pull off a jeep. Just got a few teeth marks in the washers and aerial.

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Smoking Frog

posted on 23/11/14 at 11:34 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jenko
The monkeys attack certain cars. Rumor has it, they are collecting enough bits build a complete car, they then plan to bust out of the enclosure and drive to Scotland. GCHQ are on the case and monitoring all communications between the monkey gangs.

One word of advice I have for them is don't use Renault coil packs for the escape vehical, as I guarantee they won't get to the M5.


Maybe they got the idea from the Colditz glider. Other advice: Resist the urge to moon out the window on the motorway as it will only bring unwanted attention.

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loggyboy

posted on 23/11/14 at 11:35 AM Reply With Quote
I remember going thru and some moron went thru in a 4x4 with a couple of bikes on the back, lights, reflectors ripped off, seats torn, spare tyre cover torn! He drove around the outside of everyone in a rush to get out but it was too late.





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mark chandler

posted on 23/11/14 at 12:42 PM Reply With Quote
The fools that ignore the signs and pop food on the roof of there cars get the worst if this.

When I went one was enjoying flicking the roof aerial, the little bugger dragged the aerial back as his mates came by let it go so it smashed them in the face.... Naughty little monkey!

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Slimy38

posted on 23/11/14 at 02:06 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by loggyboy
I remember going thru and some moron went thru in a 4x4 with a couple of bikes on the back, lights, reflectors ripped off, seats torn, spare tyre cover torn! He drove around the outside of everyone in a rush to get out but it was too late.


Oddly enough my funniest experience was some 4x4 owning a-hole who had already cut up a fair few people in his brand new Range Rover. He ended up in front of me and they just went for it and tore it to shreds. Air vents, wing mirrors, wipers, anything they could get a grip on got the treatment.

On the other hand, we got a monkeys butt print on our car windscreen and that was it...

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johnny chimpo

posted on 24/11/14 at 09:45 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by nick-york
A lot of years ago I went there with my partener at the time in her car which had a rubber spoiler on the back. And guess what ! Yea a monkey bit a big chunk out of it ! It wasnt funny at the time but there was a reminder there for a few years .and so funny telling everybody who wanted to know what had happened to the spoiler ! Certainly an entertaining place
B


The exact same thing happened to my dad's car, they bit a massive chunk out of the rubber spoiler on one of the sides. This happened about 25 years ago and I still laugh now when I think about it.

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adithorp

posted on 24/11/14 at 10:17 AM Reply With Quote
I had a customer a couple of months ago who phoned asking if I could get her a couple of washer jets. She'd been to Knowsley and the monkeys had ripped them off. "No problem. I'll order a pair, call in sometime tomorrow" Then I call the dealer who, without looking the part number, say he's not got any. He knows this because he sold them all the week before (8prs) to people who'd had them... ripped out at Knowsley. '





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