ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's
200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said,
"Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some
woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it
up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm,
this person looks familiar." the second bonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his
apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she
finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde
replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know
all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital
of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:
W."

FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her
she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific
accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself
from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying
fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My
God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you
OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde
chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the
officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde
began. "I was driving along this road when from out of
nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved
to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the
right and there was another tree! I swerved to the
left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am," the officer
said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging back and forth."

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized. She
telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the
first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the
house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on
the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in
her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and
what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

seven jokes and only four smilies
i'll have to try harder

there you go...

I liked


3 blondes walking in the forest.

They came across some tracks.

They are badger tracks said one.

No, fox tracks said another.

no no no - beaver tracks said the other.

They were still arguing when the train hit them

i'll add that to the collection