Board logo

Free Wife
splitrivet - 23/2/14 at 09:49 PM

See'ing as all this free stuffs knocking about (mgb's, caravans etc) thought I'd try my luck.
Come and collect my missus, please note this is collection only, theres no way I'm paying postage.
If anyone tells her I posted this thread theres no way I'll speak to them again, I want it to be a suprise !!
Cheers,
Bob

PS Ear defenders not included.


coozer - 23/2/14 at 09:50 PM

Any pics?


splitrivet - 23/2/14 at 09:54 PM

quote:
Originally posted by coozer
Any pics?

She's free you cheeky b@st@rd what more do you want !!
Cheers,
Bob


NigeEss - 23/2/14 at 09:57 PM

Hi,

I'm interested in your wife.
What size vehicle do I need to collect ?

Thanks


Andybarbet - 23/2/14 at 09:57 PM

Wow, she must love surprises then.

And I bet its not even her birthday ?

Shes a lucky woman to have you :-)


CRAIGR - 23/2/14 at 09:57 PM

What year and how many previous owners??


Slimy38 - 23/2/14 at 10:04 PM

quote:
Originally posted by CRAIGR
how many previous owners??


I just threw up a little...


Browser - 23/2/14 at 10:09 PM

Does she need new big ends? A re-bore? Is her suspension sagging at all?


Andybarbet - 23/2/14 at 10:26 PM

This thread is bound to get messy :-)

No talk of airbags yet ??


nick205 - 23/2/14 at 10:40 PM

Might well be free, but I suspect the running costs are going to hurt.


splitrivet - 23/2/14 at 11:47 PM

She's in good nick, safe around children, its not her birthday till next January Andy so you wont have to splash out for another 11 months so dont worry on that score.
A Honda 50 would suffice for collection Nigel but I'm keeping her crash helmet so you would have to supply one.
Cheers,
Bob

[Edited on 23/2/14 by splitrivet]


NigeEss - 24/2/14 at 01:15 AM

What a shame, I don't have a spare skid lid


fimi7 - 24/2/14 at 01:21 AM

Read this to my wife, told her,, SEEE I am not all that bad a catch


Polypropyl - 24/2/14 at 02:37 AM

quote:
Originally posted by CRAIGR
What year and how many previous owners??


This made it all worth while for me.


zetec-phill - 24/2/14 at 05:13 AM

if her names nora, ill collect, she looks ok in your pics


Texan - 24/2/14 at 05:19 AM

This just went on my Facebook page just to show people that I'm actually a pretty sensible guy - when compared to you guys.

But now that someone else mentioned airbags, are they still in the original containers or have they been set off and just kinda flopping around there?


SPYDER - 24/2/14 at 07:21 AM

quote:
Originally posted by splitrivet
... so you wont have to splash out for another 11 months...

[Edited on 23/2/14 by splitrivet]



Fnaar, fnaar!


olimarler - 24/2/14 at 07:42 AM

I thought you had spelt wifi wrong!!


snapper - 24/2/14 at 08:29 AM

There is no such thing as a Free Wife
There is always a cost
An Ex Wife is even more expensive I know
However a husband and especially an ex husband hold a considerable residual value which can be tapped at will
My ex wife ( no residual value) has 2 ex husbands ( small residual value in 1 and reasonable in the other) and a current younger husband who will keep his residual value long after the others are bled dry


nick205 - 24/2/14 at 08:36 AM

quote:
Originally posted by snapper
There is no such thing as a Free Wife
There is always a cost
An Ex Wife is even more expensive I know
However a husband and especially an ex husband hold a considerable residual value which can be tapped at will
My ex wife ( no residual value) has 2 ex husbands ( small residual value in 1 and reasonable in the other) and a current younger husband who will keep his residual value long after the others are bled dry



Sounds like your ex-wife could be termed a serial invester


Smoking Frog - 24/2/14 at 11:11 AM

What kind of mileage has she done? Any strange noises, rattling etc. Does she leak any fluids? Any mayonnaise in the filler? Easy to work on? Sorry for all the questions but I currently have a 55 plate so could be interested if she's younger. Fancy a straight swap?


jeffw - 24/2/14 at 11:30 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Smoking Frog
Does she leak any fluids?





Is there not a lunar cycle going on here.....?

[Edited on 24/2/14 by jeffw]


daveb666 - 24/2/14 at 11:41 AM

HPI clear?
Outstanding finance or crash damage?

tbfh; this thread is useless without pics.


SteveWallace - 24/2/14 at 11:51 AM

you have a number of pictures in your photo archive. Which one is she??


jeffw - 24/2/14 at 11:55 AM

I'd go out on a limb and say none of them


nick205 - 24/2/14 at 12:10 PM

quote:
Originally posted by jeffw
I'd go out on a limb and say none of them


A man can dream though


skov - 24/2/14 at 01:32 PM

Is she due a service any time soon?


scimjim - 24/2/14 at 01:39 PM

Any wear in the bushes? Nipples greased? Flanges deburred?


iank - 24/2/14 at 03:32 PM

Has she started making the constant grumbling noises yet, many do after a few years?

[Edited on 24/2/14 by iank]


yellowcab - 24/2/14 at 03:48 PM

I can't believe this hasn't been snapped up!

I'll take it, to replace my current model, who seem to have worked out how to get out of the handcuffs that are at the kitchen sink!


adithorp - 24/2/14 at 04:51 PM

This is going to end horribly when she finds out... and given the "six degrees of separation" rule means she will sooner or later.


CNHSS1 - 24/2/14 at 05:32 PM

and there aint no such thing as a 'locost' apology or divorce ;-)


Peteff - 24/2/14 at 05:37 PM

quote:
Originally posted by nick205
quote:
Originally posted by jeffw
I'd go out on a limb and say none of them


A man can dream though


That's my illusions shattered


Volvorsport - 24/2/14 at 06:55 PM

is there any warranty left ?

dont want to get any nasty bills , suprises after a couple of weeks hard use....


splitrivet - 24/2/14 at 07:59 PM

Well you had your chance guys and blown it after coming home tonight to a fantastic plate of snappin Ive decided to keep her.
But keep your eyes peeled you never know.
Cheers,
Bob


nick205 - 24/2/14 at 08:49 PM

quote:
Originally posted by splitrivet
Well you had your chance guys and blown it after coming home tonight to a fantastic plate of snappin Ive decided to keep her.
But keep your eyes peeled you never know.
Cheers,
Bob



Bob, I've encoutered this behaviour several times over the years. I think you're about to find a new pair of shoes in the wardrobe or a dent in the car.


Pfw - 26/2/14 at 08:12 PM

Just found this while browsing form.....still chuckling...brilliant !!


yellowcab - 26/2/14 at 08:16 PM

Browsing, yeah right… more like searching for a new wife, like the rest of us!


Pfw - 26/2/14 at 08:20 PM

Fair point !!


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 08:44 AM

HPI clear?

PDI?

'Never raced or rallied?'


Looks like you are in danger of being offered as 'being broken for parts'!

If I were you, I'd be checking Freecycle or Gumtree to see if your tools, music collection, drumkit/guitar or fishing gear are being offered for free...

Cheers
Mike

PS funniest thread I have read for ages!

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]


woodster - 1/3/14 at 09:07 AM

quote:
Originally posted by iank
Has she started making the constant grumbling noises yet, many do after a few years?

[Edited on 24/2/14 by iank]


How true is that!!!!! .......... brilliant thread


big_wasa - 1/3/14 at 09:12 AM

Cheered me up no end


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 09:15 AM

Recent bodywork?

Genune parts fitted?

OE spec? Or recent alarm fitted?

One careful owner?

Always garaged?

Quick respray, lots of filler and new seat covers?

Cat C or D?

Warped discs?

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 09:18 AM

You may find the previous gen model from the same manufacturer will also start to prove troublesome.

Also check build quality and reliability issues before considering upgrade to a newer model.

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 10:22 AM

Any warning lights visible?

Run a diagnostics check yet?


ross05 - 1/3/14 at 10:59 AM

excellent cheered me up. just hope she never finds this thread.


woodster - 1/3/14 at 11:19 AM

quote:
Originally posted by ross05
excellent cheered me up. just hope she never finds this thread.



I've been waiting for the free husband ad going on which will probably read 'one free battered husband, pick up only from local hospital'


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 11:45 AM

quote:
Originally posted by woodster
quote:
Originally posted by ross05
excellent cheered me up. just hope she never finds this thread.



I've been waiting for the free husband ad going on which will probably read 'one free battered husband, pick up only from local hospital'


Yeah, you may shortly be experiencing a sharp throttle response combined with violent kickdown and hard application of the brakes.

After that will only run happily on super unleaded following a lengthy rebuild and upgrade at a main dealer.

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]


ross05 - 1/3/14 at 11:47 AM


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 11:56 AM

'Re-advertised due to time wasters'?


scimjim - 1/3/14 at 12:14 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Mike Wood
'Re-advertised due to time wasters'?

I heard that the test drive unearthed a few problems?


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 12:22 PM

quote:
Originally posted by scimjim
quote:
Originally posted by Mike Wood
'Re-advertised due to time wasters'?

I heard that the test drive unearthed a few problems?


Now no longer starts. Did have running on problems.


Mike Wood - 1/3/14 at 12:27 PM

'Was bought as a long term project, but too many other projects and loss of storage, so this one has to go'

[Edited on 1/3/14 by Mike Wood]


slingshot2000 - 1/3/14 at 12:39 PM

quote:
I heard that the test drive unearthed a few problems?


I was just about to ask of the availability of one of those 2 day test drives


MikeCapon - 1/3/14 at 12:59 PM

No doubt many of you are hugely disappointed about Bob's decision to keep his wife, for now anyway....

To cheer you up there's plenty more fish in the sea and here are a few. Not free but reasonably priced



[img][/img]


ross05 - 1/3/14 at 01:13 PM

a bit pricey for me.. any trade bargains ..


scudderfish - 1/3/14 at 03:16 PM

Is the insurance history 'Social/Domestic/Pleasure' or 'Public Hire'?


scimjim - 1/3/14 at 03:46 PM

quote:
Originally posted by scudderfish
Is the insurance history 'Social/Domestic/Pleasure' or 'Public Hire'?

And new for old?


Agriv8 - 1/3/14 at 09:04 PM

quote:
Originally posted by splitrivet
Well you had your chance guys and blown it after coming home tonight to a fantastic plate of snappin Ive decided to keep her.
But keep your eyes peeled you never know.
Cheers,
Bob


Hang on !!!!! . yours can cook bl***dy hell mine must have a fault then!

Next you'll be saying you came home to a clean house and her asking if you want an early night;-0

ATB agriv8

Ps If I am really honest I can't afford 1 never mind 2 !


mangogrooveworkshop - 1/3/14 at 10:04 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_selling


myke pocock - 2/3/14 at 11:17 AM

Presume your keeping her because shes just passed her MOT so costs for the next year are expected to be fairly low. Funny thing is that mines recently developed a strange whining noise that appears to have developed when I found a house with a double garage.