Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply...




I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to
get
the position. Be prepared for my mood.
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I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you
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You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.
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Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so
that I may be promoted to management
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I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me
until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will
be deleted in the order it was received.
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Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message
-------------- '
The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable
to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending
again.' (The beauty of it is that when I return, I can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
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Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
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I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
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Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC
for my response.
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Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave
me any messages.
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I've run away to join a different circus.
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AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:
I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of Lionel.'



Enjoy

SARCASM at its best!

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor The doctor says,
"Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter,
Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is
sick most mornings." The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns
to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your
Debbie is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess." The mother says,
"Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man!
Have you Debbie?" Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five
minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out
there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last
time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three
wise men came over the hill. And there's no way I'm going to miss it!