mangogrooveworkshop
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 posted on 6/7/04 at 08:16 PM |
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radio conversation
Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
"Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
"Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision."
"This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
"No. I say again, you divert YOUR course."
"THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!"
"This is a lighthouse. Your call."
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Jon Ison
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| posted on 6/7/04 at 08:17 PM |
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mangogrooveworkshop
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| posted on 6/7/04 at 10:05 PM |
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Radio speak
Land rover to base over.
Base to land rover go ahead.
Cant base .........just rolled the land rover over Over!
[Edited on 6-7-04 by mangogrooveworkshop]
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steve m
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 03:52 AM |
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> > > These are conversations apparently heard over airport airwaves>
>...>
>.
> > >
> > > =============================================
> > >
> > > Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles."
> > > Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
>
> > > =============================================
> > >
> > > "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
> > > "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
>here?"
> > > "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a
>727?"
>
> > > ============================================================
> >
> > > O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic
>is
>a
> > Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
> > > United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got
>the
> > little Fokker in sight."
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > >
> > > A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long
>roll
> > out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted:
> > > "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if
>you
> > are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway
>101,
>make
> > a right at the lights and return to the airport."
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around
>and
> > returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
> > > A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly,
>was
> > the problem?"
> > > "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,"
>explained
> > the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot."
>
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich
>overheard
>the
> > following:
> > > Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance
>time?"
> > > Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in
>English."
> > > Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane,
>in
> > Germany. Why must I speak English?"
> > > Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
> > "Because you lost the bloody war."
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
>frequency
> > 124.7"
> > > Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the
>way,
> > after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of
>the
> > runway."
> > > Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,
>contact
> > Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern
>702?"
> > > Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and
>yes,
> > we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
> > >
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
>short
> > of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out,
> > > turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some
>quick-witted
> > comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
> > > "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
> > > The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back
>with
>a
> > real zinger:
> > > "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll
>have
> > enough parts for another one.">
> > >
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
> > short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate
>parking
> > location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
> > > So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to
>the
> > following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British
>Airways
> > 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
> > >
> > > Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
> > > Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747
>pulled
> > onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
> > > Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
> > > Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate
>location
> > now."
> > > Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you
>not
> > been to Frankfurt before?"
> > > Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and
>I
> > didn't land."
> > > ============================================================
> > >
> > > While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air
>flight
> > departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose
>with
>a
> > United 727. An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the
>US
>Air
> > crew, screaming:
> > > "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn
>right
> > onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there.
> > > I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and
>D,
> > but get it right!"
> > > Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
> > hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up!
> > > It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and
>don't
>move
> > till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in
>about
> > half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I
>tell
>you,
> > and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
> > > "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
> > > Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell
>terribly
> > silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to
>chance
> > engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.
> > > Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running
>high.
> > Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,
> > asking:
> > > "Wasn't I married to you once?"
>
> > ****************************************************************
>
>
>
>
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