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Author: Subject: NEWS FLASH - Major Earthquake
mangogrooveworkshop

posted on 11/9/04 at 10:09 PM Reply With Quote
NEWS FLASH - Major Earthquake

NEWS FLASH - Major Earthquake Strikes Dundee



A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the richter scale hit Dundee in the early hours of Saturday



Epicentre: - Whitfield



Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering, “whit the fuck!” and “whuard that cumfae?”. The earthquake dismantled the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of momentos from the Baldovie skip were damaged beyond repair.



Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Grampian news reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in the area.



One resident – Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of five fae Ormiston Crescent, said, “it was such a shock, my little Chardoney Levi-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Chantelle slept through it all, as well as my great granny lorrain. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning.”



Apparently though, looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 400 crates of sunny delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large Quantities of personal belongings which include benefit books, jewellery from argo’s Elizabeth Duke, loads of provie cheques and bone china from pound stretchers.



How Can You Help?



This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is the most sought after, the most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops(his and hers), Shell suits(female), white sports socks, Rockport boots and any other items sold by Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuff include mirowave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of colt 45, cerry oot o buckie or specil blue fizzy dronks for a family of nine, £5 will pay for a packet of B&H’s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.



Please do not send tents for shelter as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of Douglas, Fintry and St. Marys






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Peteff

posted on 11/9/04 at 10:19 PM Reply With Quote
15 and only 5 kids

She must be a minger.





yours, Pete

I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.

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dave1888

posted on 11/9/04 at 10:51 PM Reply With Quote
I've got 5 bars o soap i can donate. That should last the whole of dundee for years to come.






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mangogrooveworkshop

posted on 11/9/04 at 11:04 PM Reply With Quote
Standard greeting in Dumpdee they chuck a half brick at you...






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Northy

posted on 11/9/04 at 11:33 PM Reply With Quote






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