mangogrooveworkshop
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| posted on 16/9/04 at 04:15 PM |
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The Darwin Awards
Great site hours of fun
http://www.darwinawards.com/
Man jailed after shooting his testicles Tue 13 July, 2004 19:28
LONDON (Reuters) - A British man who accidentally shot himself in the testicles after drinking 15 pints of beer has been jailed for five years for
possessing an illegal firearm, a court spokesman says.
David Walker, 28, was arguing with a friend at a pub in South Yorkshire when he went home to get his sawn-off shotgun, which he jammed into his
trousers.
But as he walked back to the pub, the gun went off, blasting pellets into his testicles. Doctors later removed what remained of his testicles during
emergency surgery.
Walker admitted possessing a prohibited weapon at a hearing in June at the court in Sheffield.
Submitted on 07/21/2004
Jack Up
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin
(9 April 2003, New Zealand) Phil needed to make repairs to the underside of his car. But when he jacked it up, there wasn't enough room for him
to work. So he removed the car's battery, placed the jack on top of it, and set to work again, this time with plenty of elbow-room.
Unfortunately for Phil, car batteries are not designed to carry much weight. The battery collapsed and the jack toppled, trapping him beneath the car.
Unable to breathe due to the weight on his chest, he quickly expired in a pool of battery acid.
This incident is illuminated by two additional facts: First, Phil's occupation was Accident Prevention Officer at a large food processing plant.
And second, ten years previous, he had been working under a car when the jack collapsed, trapping him and breaking one of his legs. Some people just
don't learn -- even from their own mistakes.
[Edited on 16-9-04 by mangogrooveworkshop]
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scoobyis2cool
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| posted on 16/9/04 at 06:06 PM |
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Thats gotta suck, no testicles AND 5 years in prison. Still, I spose it might keep him a bit safer in the showers... 
Pete
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care...
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Cita
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| posted on 16/9/04 at 06:15 PM |
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He probably would have got less when he shot someone elses balls off
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chrisg
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| posted on 16/9/04 at 06:16 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by mangogrooveworkshop
Jack Up
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin
(9 April 2003, New Zealand) Phil needed to make repairs to the underside of his car. But when he jacked it up, there wasn't enough room for him
to work. So he removed the car's battery, placed the jack on top of it, and set to work again, this time with plenty of elbow-room.
Unfortunately for Phil, car batteries are not designed to carry much weight. The battery collapsed and the jack toppled, trapping him beneath the car.
Unable to breathe due to the weight on his chest, he quickly expired in a pool of battery acid.
This incident is illuminated by two additional facts: First, Phil's occupation was Accident Prevention Officer at a large food processing plant.
And second, ten years previous, he had been working under a car when the jack collapsed, trapping him and breaking one of his legs. Some people just
don't learn -- even from their own mistakes.
You trying to be funny????
Cheers
Chris
(At least I'm still here to moan about it!)
Note to all: I really don't know when to leave well alone. I tried to get clever with the mods, then when they gave me a lifeline to see the
error of my ways, I tried to incite more trouble via u2u. So now I'm banned, never to return again. They should have done it years ago!
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marc n
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| posted on 17/9/04 at 07:15 PM |
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i like this one myself
The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at
the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The
make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.
The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.
It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give
heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.
Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona
desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the
rocket.
The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the
location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that
speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under
full afterburners.
The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them,
blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the
cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and
fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 17/9/04 at 09:12 PM |
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The JATO is definately an urban myth - the origin of the story posted the truth on his own website!
Apparently he'd set up a car on an old mine railway, with the JATO attached. He set it off (without a passenger), the thing screamed off and
piled into the mine entrance.
He had to keep quiet at the time 'cos his dad owned a military scrapyard where he'd found the rocket pack - if the army had found out his
father would have been hung, drawn and quartered.
Once his dad had died he owned up.
The story just grew...
David
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