Irony
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 09:49 AM |
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Workaholic Moral Issue
I work for a small business. I have helped build this exhibition design business from 8 people to 48 in last eight years.
The first show we have at the start of next year is a huge show where we are all working flat out at the NEC building tradestands over a very manic
two day period. As Head designer I am a key member of the team.
My moral dilemma is every year the same week my family have a family holiday which they all toddle off to Tenerife for a week. They go that week
thats it. They all want me to come and have put it off for 6 years. None of my family understand the commitment I have for my job and career. The
two best friends I have (my girlfriend and my brother) both can't believe I am in conflict about taking the time off.
If I take the time off I let the team down if I don't my family will be saddened.
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MakeEverything
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 09:51 AM |
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Ive learned the hard way.
Its family and personal first. The business will be there when you return.
You've grown the business, but has it really got you anywhere?
Kindest Regards,
Richard.
...You can make it foolProof, but youll never make it Idiot Proof!...
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GMPMotorsport
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 09:56 AM |
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Family first every time, work will always be there in one form or another. don't live for work but work to live . IMHO.
www.gmpdevelopments.co.uk
www.gmpmotorsport.co.uk
ARDS Instructer.
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jabbahutt
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:01 AM |
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As above, if it was a choice between family and work, work would lose big time everytime.
It's good that you enjoy your job/career and I envy you that but for me it's still a no brainer, put family first.
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r1_pete
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:05 AM |
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Delegate your responsibilities at the show to whoever you are mentoring and coaching to be your successor.
Give them a solid brief, and tell them you want a detailed report on the show when you are back in the office.
That way you develop other staff, re-enforce you are the lead, and prove to the company you can manage in your absence.
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chris_harris_
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:09 AM |
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Agree with all of the above.
Family first but protect the career by following R1_Pete's advise.
Regards Chris
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Hammerhead
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:10 AM |
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is it the furniture show?
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interestedparty
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:23 AM |
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Jobs and careers are more important than holidays. Holidays are what you do when work permits NOT the other way around. If your family aren't
too happy about that then they will have to take option 2.
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list-- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed-- who never would be missed!
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pewe
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:32 AM |
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Always difficult for those who have built the bus. to hand over the reins.
Flagship events tend to bring this into focus moreso than at any other time.
Ask yourself will it really fall apart if you aren't there?
If the answer is yes then there needs to be someone trained up to take over if you are on holiday or even off sick. With your current staffing level
there must be others who are capable and want your job.
If the answer is no then you're off on hols.
QED.
Cheers, Pewe 
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AdamR
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:39 AM |
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Just to play devils advocate a little...
It's probably this responsible and conscientious attitude and taking ownership for your work that has got you and the company to where you are
today and will lead you to more personal success in the future.
It's difficult to get the work/life balance thing right all the time. But I think its perfectly OK to take pride in your job and your family
should respect that.
Only you can decide what to do in this situation, but I don't think it's as black and white as some of the above replies suggest.
r1_pete's suggestion is good.
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smart51
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:46 AM |
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Your family aren't great friends if they won't budge at all to accommodate you. Do they genuinely not understand the demands of your
work? Insisting that you fall in line with them regardless of your situation is stubborn and arrogant, to be brutal but honest.
Family matters always trump work but work trumps a family holiday. I would have no trouble booking time off if one of my family were in hospital, for
example, or had a "milestone" type event on, but a family holiday can be booked on a different week.
My job has (fairly infrequent) deadlines that cannot be moved. I don't take holidays in the run up to the deadlines. Instead I book time off
for after a show, or well in advance. I suppose I'm lucky that my family understand this and are willing to accommodate me.
I'd take the approach that if the family insist on booking the week that you can't make year after year, how can you go. Tell them to
book a week that you can do or don't go.
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matt_claydon
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 10:51 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by smart51
Your family aren't great friends if they won't budge at all to accommodate you. Do they genuinely not understand the demands of your
work? Insisting that you fall in line with them regardless of your situation is stubborn and arrogant, to be brutal but honest.
Family matters always trump work but work trumps a family holiday. I would have no trouble booking time off if one of my family were in hospital, for
example, or had a "milestone" type event on, but a family holiday can be booked on a different week.
My job has (fairly infrequent) deadlines that cannot be moved. I don't take holidays in the run up to the deadlines. Instead I book time off
for after a show, or well in advance. I suppose I'm lucky that my family understand this and are willing to accommodate me.
I'd take the approach that if the family insist on booking the week that you can't make year after year, how can you go. Tell them to
book a week that you can do or don't go.
What he said ^
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chrsgrain
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:02 AM |
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Move the holiday, Tenerife and the sun aren't going anywhere...
Chris
Spoing! - the sound of an irony meter breaking...
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Irony
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:46 AM |
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Thanks for the replies fellas. The business can run without me but its just difficult to let a team down in their time of need.
I am probably going to take the time off from work.
I think the problem mainly lies with the fact that my family are the sorts that go to work because they have to. Its mostly drudgery and they
can't wait for the evenings and weekends. I am just passionate about what I do and within reason enjoy it. My family just don't and
can't understand. That is what grates so much.
[Edited on 13/8/10 by Irony]
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Irony
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:46 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by AdamR
Just to play devils advocate a little...
It's probably this responsible and conscientious attitude and taking ownership for your work that has got you and the company to where you are
today and will lead you to more personal success in the future.
I believe this statement to be totally true. When I joined the business we were 5 or 6 dedicated people who threw everything into it. I firmly
believe that there is a huge correlation between people who work hard / give there all and success.
For me work was always going to be something I spent 40 hours a week doing. Might as well enjoy it and push always for the next challenge.
[Edited on 13/8/10 by Irony]
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Hector.Brocklebank
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:50 AM |
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you work to "live" not live to "work"and living is family.
but i agree, that the family could be a little more understanding in arranging a little leway in dates if they already know that part of your job
entails an entry into a show thats the same date every year....
Just be careful you dont wake up one morning with a lovely job, and some money/nice house, but no-one to share it with. As when that happens self
destruct mode is not far away, be it by getting pissed or some other means of getting away from being lonely.
[Edited on 13/8/10 by Hector.Brocklebank]
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Irony
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:55 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Hector.Brocklebank
you work to "live" not live to "work"and living is family.
but i agree, that the family could be a little more understanding in arranging a little leway in dates if they already know that part of your job
entails an entry into a show thats the same date every year....
Just be careful you dont wake up one morning with a lovely job, and some money/nice house, but no-one to share it with. As when that happens self
destruct mode is not far away, be it by getting pissed or some other means of getting away from being lonely.
[Edited on 13/8/10 by Hector.Brocklebank]
Its a balance between the two though I feel.
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StevieB
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 11:59 AM |
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Mine's another vote for doing the work.
It's always best to be seen as a team player, expecially within a small business in times of hardship. If/When the wolves are at the door, you
want to make sure you;re very far away from the firing line.
Do you have any ownership in this company, or prospects that you might be given some?
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ReMan
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 12:18 PM |
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As said it's your decision and the balance is always difficult.
Neveretheless I can't believe that in the current climate there are so many that would'nt make keeping a job you obviously enjoy and
presumably pays at least a competitive wage a priority.
If you could walk into a similar job paying the same tomorrow then put your holidays first, jobseekers is a poor second though imho
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Fozzie
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 12:44 PM |
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Sorry..but I have to agree with those who suggest the work ethos comes first....
I am sure that your family can take their holiday a day or 2 later .... after all, can they not get the grasp that the holiday would be much needed by
you after the exhibition?........
As said, the Tenerife sun aint going no where....
but if your boss realises that he can cope without you at a very important time....and in this current economic climate ....... .......
If the family really, really wont budge with their dates .... then let them go and join them after the exhibition work is done ..... the art of
compromise?
Fozzie 
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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ravingfool
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 12:58 PM |
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Have to agree with the later replies on this thread (although there are valid points in every post)
Family may well be more important, in overall or general sense, than work; but work is a requisite for everyone and I'm sure your girlfriend
would rather you were working and able to afford holidays than unemployed and sat on the sofa all day. You will spend most of your life working so you
best try and get and keep a good job that you enjoy!
As it sounds like you do have a good job that you enjoy you need to do the best you can to keep it, and that means arranging holidays around your work
schedule, your family should understand and appreciate this!
However, if you don't really need to be there for the event then perhaps you can take the time off anyway. It sounds like its within your
ability to do so, so why not? Next year you may feel differently and need to attend the event personally to help the team.
I work in a small firm and I can only take time off when it is suitable to do so. There are not lots of staff available to cover my work any old time
I might want to disappear. I'm going to be out of the office for a couple of weeks on a training course I need to do and its really going to
make life difficult for everyone else while I'm not here so I can't take any other time off at the moment because I'll be catching
up when I get back. BUT I've got my own life waiting for me in the evenings and at the weekend.
(Also can't understand wanting to go on the same holiday at the same time every year and would avoid on principle  )
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Liam
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 01:12 PM |
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I agree with the family first/work to live, dont live to work/the business should be able to manage your absence sentiments in general, but in this
instance it seems the family are being downright inconsiderate. Is there even a good reason why the holiday must be that week at all costs? As you
say, consideration and compromise should work both ways.
Having said that, I'd understand the commitment if it was your own business, or you were at least in a senior management position with vested
interests in the company, and you were being rewarded commensurately, but if your hard work is really just making a lot of money for somebody else at
the end of the day, I understand your commitment much less.
A tough decision.
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02GF74
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 01:31 PM |
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tricky one this.
firsly noone is indispensible - you have at least 4 months prior to that show - can you not plan ahead so that your presence is not required?
subconsciouosly maybe you are concerned that someone can do the job as well or better than you?
we do not choose are family but are born into them. have you been procrastinating as you do not want a holiday with them?
I would say go on holiday - if it turns ouot to be crap, then you know what to do next year.
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interestedparty
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 01:47 PM |
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All this about having a subordinate/successor/stand-in trained up and ready to go 
Recipe for disaster. Working for people is a transaction like any other, showing them that there is a satisfactory alternative to what you offer is
nothing short of daft
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list-- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed-- who never would be missed!
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daviep
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| posted on 13/8/10 at 03:05 PM |
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I would have to side with the workers, if you work for a good company/boss then your dedication and commitment will not go unnoticed and when pay
rises/promotions are being handed out you will be top of the list.
Davie
“A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone.”
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