help desk tales
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.
Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without Cause."
The following is actual dialogue of a former
WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:
Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may
I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the
screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't
accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you
when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see
that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of
it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."
C: "I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
- it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take
it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"
CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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posted on 5/10/05 at 02:28 PM
