Mk-Ninja
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 posted on 8/7/04 at 07:24 AM |
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Rectum Stretcher
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than
I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other
side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just
what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well", I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch
the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
with a six-foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge ..."
Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless
I'm sure I've got one, just don't know where I've put it
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JoelP
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 07:38 AM |
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lol
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Dave J
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 02:46 PM |
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Brilliant!
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chris.russell
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 02:52 PM |
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that might have to be my next excuse when i'm late.....
Mines a pint
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Staple balls
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 03:26 PM |
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quick warning on goatse., do not go there, it's NOT SAFE FOR WORK, and you'll probably regret it either way
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Jasper
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 03:29 PM |
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Ok, so a brief description of what is to be found would be good. I once opened a very nasty pic of an RTA and have lived with the image in my head
ever since - yuck....
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ned
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 03:31 PM |
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Jasper, was that the pic with the guy wearing the non full face helmet? I know exactly what you mean!
Ned.
beware, I've got yellow skin
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Scotty
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 03:32 PM |
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trust me to be nosey ................
puke! 
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JoelP
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 03:48 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Jasper
Ok, so a brief description of what is to be found would be good. I once opened a very nasty pic of an RTA and have lived with the image in my head
ever since - yuck....
i know the feeling, i once downloaded a terrible video of an accident, i felt sick for days... why you may ask? i didnt realise how bad it was...
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subk2002
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| posted on 8/7/04 at 04:23 PM |
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That was horrible
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sgraber
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 posted on 9/7/04 at 12:35 AM |
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I have never EVER... In my LIFE! Seen anything so repulsive as that.
Alez, please edit your post to at least include a DIRE warning of potential sickness. Whoooo Boy.
Steve Graber
http://www.grabercars.com/
"Quickness through lightness"
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Alez
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 06:27 AM |
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Gone!
(I'm sorry, honest it wasn't my intention to gross out any of you guys, I really thought that saying "it is disgusting!" +
thread title would be sufficient to stop people.. I hope you have been able to get sleep yesterday night Oh, still you need to admit it was much on
topic My sincere apologies and thanks for not "reporting" anyway..)
[Edited on 9/7/04 by Alez]
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Peteff
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 08:56 AM |
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I didn't look.....
Was it the guy stretching his arsehole half way up his back again, I wouldn't like to see his toilet roll or plumbing bill. Mind you if he ever
needs surgery they won't need to cut him, just send a surgeon in with a cap lamp.
[Edited on 9/7/04 by Peteff]
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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Mk-Ninja
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 10:08 AM |
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I didnt look either, took Staple Balls warning
I'm sure I've got one, just don't know where I've put it
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Alez
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 01:07 PM |
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You did the right thing. Let's just say that if his large intestine ever needs video assisted surgery, he will be just fine with any VHS
camera.[img][/img]
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Jasper
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 03:41 PM |
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Ned - yes it was, though there was rumours at the time that it was a fake - if it was it was very good.
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Staple balls
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| posted on 9/7/04 at 03:57 PM |
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hehehe
as it happens, it is a real image, there's a full set of them (i believe they were taken in the mid 70's) and as far as i know, they guy
was married, hetro and is dead now (of non arse related causes)
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