David Jenkins
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 posted on 4/10/04 at 12:33 PM |
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Hillbilly vasectomy
After their 11th Child, An Arkansas couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and
told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can
up to your ear and count to 10."
The Arkansas hillbilly said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a
beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama and Mississippi.
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white130d
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 01:23 PM |
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Here in Tennessee
we can count to 21.....until the above proceedure is parcticed, then we lose a digit if ya know wat I mean........
David.
"There's only 2 things that money can't buy, and that's true love and home grown tomatos" Guy Clark
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 01:52 PM |
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I thought you'd be one of the first to comment!  
David
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white130d
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 03:07 PM |
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Yeah
I wuz up tendin to the old moonshine still out back and thought I would far up ( fire up) the laptop out in the outhouse and see what you-ins was all
talkin bout ( what all of you might have been discussing)
You never thought this would turn into a hillbilly/english dictionary didja.....
D.
"There's only 2 things that money can't buy, and that's true love and home grown tomatos" Guy Clark
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 03:29 PM |
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You can help me out with a quick translation...
A "cherry bomb" is a big fire-cracker, isn't it? From what I've read, it's a formidable firework!
rgds,
David
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timf
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 03:30 PM |
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just for white130d translated into native redneck
Yall liss'n here. Afner their 11th Child, An Arkansas couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the
husban' went ta his veterinarian an' told him that he an' his cousin didn't wanna have any mow children. The doctor told him
that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the probem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is ta go home, git a cherry bomb, liat it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up
ta urine year an' count ta 10."
The Arkansas hillbilly said ta the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I'aint see how puttin a cherry bomb in a beer
can next ta my year is fixin ta help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor. Are yall wif me?
So the fella went home, lit a cherry bomb an' put it in a beer can. He held the can up ta his year an' began ta count
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an' resumed countin on his other hand.
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white130d
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| posted on 4/10/04 at 05:05 PM |
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I git it now timF
Hell far, you-ins all tawk funny oer yonder...
Yes David, a Cherry Bomp is about 1" in dia, and about 2" long, with the fuse coming out of the middle of it. supposed to be the
equivilent of 1/4 stick of dynomite, just perfect for damaging mail boxes and other small things .
D.
"There's only 2 things that money can't buy, and that's true love and home grown tomatos" Guy Clark
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