timf
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 11:57 AM |
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Ramblings of a retired mind.
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing
my garage door opener. Now everyone thinks that I'm cool, too.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it, "Pumping Rust".
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No,
it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do? write to these people? Why don't they just put
their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Is it true that the only difference between a garage sale and a rubbish collection is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
How come we never hear any "father-in-law" jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your spouse told you to?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the
sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?
What idiot named these "The Golden Years"?
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 12:21 PM |
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Tim,
You've been out of the garage too long... go and finish that car!
David
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timf
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 12:36 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
Tim,
You've been out of the garage too long... go and finish that car!
David
nah it being in the garage too long playing with some panel wipe (that stuff i gave you) thats done it. 
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Deckman001
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 01:04 PM |
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 I'm only 35, and I can relate to some of them !!!eeek 
Jason
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 01:04 PM |
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Now I understand... 
...mind-altering solvents - can't beat 'em!
David
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marktigere1
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 01:43 PM |
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Speaking of mind altering drugs...
David, please tell me your avatar is meant to be dancing around as though on speed.
Otherwise I'm in serious trouble.
Cheers
Mark
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 19/10/04 at 02:31 PM |
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I think it varies according to the PC and browser... if both are fast, then the little fellow's a blur!
DJ
(gone back to my 'cool penguin' for a while...)
[Edited on 19/10/04 by David Jenkins]
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Cita
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| posted on 20/10/04 at 07:01 PM |
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Dont you worry timf,there comes a time when you even dont bother about this things anymore.
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