mangogrooveworkshop
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| posted on 7/11/04 at 11:31 AM |
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joke -The old ones are always the best
Sorry to our mates across the pond !! 5th amendment and all that.........
There are 5 passengers, Ronaldo, Hilary Clinton, George Bush, the Pope and a schoolboy on an aeroplane. The pilot announces that the ‘plane is having
engine problems and that the passengers need to parachute to safety but it turns out that there are only 4 parachutes on the ‘plane.
Ronaldo jumps up and says that he is a world famous footballer and that soccer would not be the same without him, grabs a parachute and jumps out of
the ‘plane.
Hilda Clinton is next. She argues that she is a powerful senator and that in the future she could possibly become the first female American president.
She grabs a parachute and jumps out of the ‘plane.
George Bush stands up and argues that he has to have a parachute because he is president of the USA and has to be around to continue his war on terror
and to get rid of countries with WMD’s. He snatches a parachute and jumps out of the ‘plane.
The pope tells the schoolboy to take the last parachute because the boy is young and has his whole life ahead of him whereas the pope has lived a long
and full life and is ready to die.
The schoolboy replies “Don’t worry. There is a parachute for both of us. That idiot Bush took my school bag!!”
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mangogrooveworkshop
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| posted on 7/11/04 at 11:38 AM |
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: HOW TO BREAK BAD NEWS!!
At dawn the telephone rings-----------
"Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"
"Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you?
there is a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir,
that your parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"
"That's that one."
"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.
Oh well...what did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr. Arnaldo?"
"Why those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."
"What the.....!!!But theres electricity at the house!!!!
What was the> candle for???"
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!"
"Your mother's!......... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her."
Gulp!
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