Fozzie
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| posted on 20/12/04 at 09:44 PM |
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Three Men
As its the silly season, here's one from me! 
Fozzie
A team of sociologists have planned an experiment. They send an
Englishman, a
Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island and arrange to come back
and pick them up in a year's time and see how they have adapted. The
sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst
themselves.
I'm an engineer" says the Englishman, "So I'll handle building a shelter".
He turns to the Frenchman and says: "You French are pretty good cooks why don't you handle the cooking? The Frenchman agrees,
and the Englishman turns to the Japanese, That leaves you to organise the supplies" he says.
The Japanese man agrees and each man sets about his tasks.
A year passes, and the sociologists return to see how the men have coped.
They expect to find three desperate men, unhappy with having to live on the island, but instead find a huge wooden house with verandas and porches
and balconies.
The Englishman comes to greet them, and when they express their surprise about the house he just shrugs and says
"Yeah well I had a lot of raw materials
so I kind of went to town and did the place up"
The team are amazed and are shown inside to the kitchen where they're greeted with the most amazing smell of delicious food.
The Frenchman sees their surprise and just shrugs "I had lots to work with" he says, "This island has loads of edible herbs and
plants."
The team sits down to eat and are about to start when one of them inquires about the Japanese man.
"Oh we don't know what happened to him" explains the Englishman, he ran off into the woods to sort out the supplies and hasn't
been seen since".
They all agree that they should try to find the man, and a search party is organised. They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when the Japanese
man jumps out from behind a tree, stark naked with half a coconut on His head, and peacock feathers sticking out of his bum, and shouts.........
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>>SUPPLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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carcentric
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 02:38 AM |
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If you're going to be politically incorrect, at least get the nationalities right.
Chinese folks would plan a "supplies" (or offer you "flied lice" as a side dish).
Japanese folks build cameras that go "crick" when you take somebody's picture.
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marcyboy
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 08:53 AM |
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well i thought it was funny !!!
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Peteff
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 10:16 AM |
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As we're being P.C.
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
They're all staring at a man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, but not one of them recognise him, and they are getting annoyed. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs:
"My God, it's Jesus!"
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the
drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:
"My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
"Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."
Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, "Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit."
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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Fozzie
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 11:42 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by carcentric
If you're going to be politically incorrect, at least get the nationalities right.
Chinese folks would plan a "supplies" (or offer you "flied lice" as a side dish).
Japanese folks build cameras that go "crick" when you take somebody's picture.
For goodness sake! Its a joke! And, no I didnt make it up, it was sent to me from my cousin in Canada! 
Since when have jokes been PC? Lighten up mate!
Cheers Marcyboy! I thought it was funny too!
Peteff tee-hee
Fozzie
[Edited on 21/12/04 by Fozzie]
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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Hornet
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 12:44 PM |
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fozzie... looks like you misread carcentrics post... hes havin a laugh to,,,, not havin a go.
Merry xmas and happy new year to all.
(Two weeks holidays building )
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Fozzie
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 01:12 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Hornet
fozzie... looks like you misread carcentrics post... hes havin a laugh to,,,, not havin a go.
 Is he? I must have left me half a brain cell asleep somewhere! LOL
fozzie
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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carcentric
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 04:11 PM |
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Sorry for the inferred criticism. I spent the last year of my tenure with Boeing "coaching" employees and management to avoid behavior
that could lead to EEO complaints and lawsuits. The rule of thumb here is that any joke that mentions a specific nationality, race, religion, sexual
preference, veteran status, handicap, or gender is considered harassment punishable by potential loss of job.
Personally, I think everything should be open to joking.
I was just giving examples to show it's the Chinese that have trouble with the "R" sound and Japanese who have trouble with the
"L" sound. I've heard that GI's in the Pacific theatre of WWII used passwords with lots of L's (e.g., lalapalooza)
because they would be mispronounced by the enemy.
Now, anybody got any good jokes about Quakers?
M D "Doc" Nugent
http://www.carcentric.com
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Fozzie
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 04:44 PM |
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Doc, Ta for clearing that up. PC has gone mad here to, there was another posting with a pc christmas greeting, which just about says it all!
I actually do know the difference between chinese and japanese pronounciations, but, as it was originally not my joke to 'mess around'
with, I wrote it exactly as it was sent to me, and with that, no offence was intended.
A very happy Christmas to you
ATB fozzie
BTW, My Japanese neighbours thought the joke was a hoot!  LOL
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 05:46 PM |
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many jokes are base on nationalities, relationships (MIL's) females, etc. There wouldnt be hardly any jokes if they were all PC.
atb
steve
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Peteff
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 06:28 PM |
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Here's one centric.
There was once a Quaker farmer who could not get his mule to move, no matter how he cajoled, pushed, or pulled. Finally, he looked the mule straight
in the eye and addressed him by name. "Josiah," he said, "Thee knows I shall never curse thee, and thee knows I shall never strike
thee; but if thee doesn't start moving this very instant, I shall sell thee to a Baptist who will!" Of course, the mule began moving
immediately, being an animal of great wit and sagacity.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 06:28 PM |
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Some of the funniest jewish jokes I've ever heard were told to me by jews... the best black jokes told to me by blacks...
Gay comediens tell the best gay jokes, and so on, and so on.
But if I, a white, vaguely methodist, straight man told any of them I would get much grief!
David
[Edited on 21/12/04 by David Jenkins]
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marcyboy
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| posted on 21/12/04 at 07:17 PM |
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have you ever seen chris rocks " bigger and blacker"
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