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Author: Subject: Chuck Norris
shindha

posted on 8/7/11 at 01:51 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris

chuck norris sleeps under the boogey mans bed.
superman wears chuck norris pyjamas
death once had a chuck norris experience
he killled a man with a cordless phone!!!he can slam a revolving door
he caught a cold once.....and killed it
he can win a game of connect 4 with 3 moves
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
he cuts scissors with paper
the entire movie of ''anaconda'' was filmed in chuck norris's pants
when batman needs help he puts out his chuck norris signal
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
he doesnt brush his teeth.. he dares them to get dirty
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the poo out of it
if chuck norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1"
wallys hiding.....cos chuck norris is lookin!!!!
he can make ice cubes in a microwave
he once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
chuck norris did it his way and frank sinatra sang about it

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Davegtst

posted on 8/7/11 at 02:40 PM Reply With Quote
My favorites

When Chuck Norris does press ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago but death hasn't got the courage to tell him.

[Edited on 8/7/11 by Davegtst]

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redeye

posted on 8/7/11 at 02:48 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands
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Irony

posted on 8/7/11 at 03:13 PM Reply With Quote
Behind Chuck Norris's beard there is just another fist.
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scootz

posted on 8/7/11 at 03:29 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet... he scares the sh*t out of it!





It's Evolution Baby!

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Liam

posted on 8/7/11 at 03:30 PM Reply With Quote
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd.




And the other 50 billion Chuck Norris jokes...

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Doctor Derek Doctors

posted on 8/7/11 at 03:56 PM Reply With Quote
And apparently Chuck Norris doesn't even obey the laws of time and space..... facts about him are still funny after 10 years

Also an LCB relevant one.

Chuck Norris once managed to lift a Pinto Engine Block!





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MikeRJ

posted on 8/7/11 at 04:24 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doctor Derek Doctors
Chuck Norris once managed to lift a Pinto Engine Block!


Lets keep these "facts" plausible please

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JC

posted on 8/7/11 at 04:35 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris is made of the second hardest substance in the world. The first only exists when he is excited........
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Ninehigh

posted on 8/7/11 at 04:35 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MikeRJ
quote:
Originally posted by Doctor Derek Doctors
Chuck Norris once managed to lift a Pinto Engine Block!


Lets keep these "facts" plausible please


Win






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omega 24 v6

posted on 8/7/11 at 05:06 PM Reply With Quote
I heard Chuck Norris can put a Rowntrees fruit pastile in his mouth without chewing it. AND he once counted to infinity TWICE





If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.

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Irony

posted on 8/7/11 at 05:20 PM Reply With Quote
I heard that Chuck Norris knows the answer to the CEC/BEC debate.

To make a woman orgasm Chuck Norris points at them and says 'Boo Yah'.

[Edited on 8/7/11 by Irony]

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Davey D

posted on 8/7/11 at 05:28 PM Reply With Quote
The big bang started when Chuck Norris took mother nature from behind!
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emsfactory

posted on 8/7/11 at 05:58 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris answered the unanserable question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
When he punched hiself in the face.

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loggyboy

posted on 8/7/11 at 09:36 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris sounds like the Stig?
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scootz

posted on 8/7/11 at 09:44 PM Reply With Quote
Nope.... the Stig can just drive cars. Chuck can do that and EVERYTHING else!





It's Evolution Baby!

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Ninehigh

posted on 8/7/11 at 09:44 PM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by loggyboy
Chuck Norris sounds like the Stig?


Chuck Norris is the only American that can drive on a track that turns left AND right






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Front Row Joe

posted on 8/7/11 at 11:31 PM Reply With Quote
Try typing 'I found chuck Norris' into Google!
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Davegtst

posted on 9/7/11 at 08:17 AM Reply With Quote
^^^ lol ^^^
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franky

posted on 9/7/11 at 08:39 AM Reply With Quote
Once caught Aids but decided to let it go
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Guinness

posted on 9/7/11 at 09:46 AM Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Front Row Joe
Try typing 'I found chuck Norris' into Google!


LOL!!

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RazMan

posted on 9/7/11 at 11:04 AM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried





Cheers,
Raz

When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box

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coozer

posted on 9/7/11 at 12:04 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris is dead, he aint the hardest man on the planet....





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Confused but excited.

posted on 9/7/11 at 03:03 PM Reply With Quote
Chuck Norris was so small, he could fight in a wedding ring.





Tell them about the bent treacle edges!

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