mangogrooveworkshop
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posted on 4/5/06 at 05:38 PM |
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Service units response to Pilots complaints
Qantas
>>
> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
> sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
> mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
> and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never
> let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
>
> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'
> pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an
> S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major
> airline that has never had an accident.
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
> pounding on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
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mangogrooveworkshop
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posted on 4/5/06 at 05:39 PM |
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Ps Hellfire
I should get out more
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tiffshaw
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posted on 4/5/06 at 05:44 PM |
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Who says aussies are friendly
Quantus maintenance complaint about the Target Radar!!!!
One way to beat the que at heathrow
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