timf
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| posted on 28/10/03 at 11:37 AM |
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american laws
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before
you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner
and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the
outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start
of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows
that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and
Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,
annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream
locations.
We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all
activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all
wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be
completed no later than January 31, 2003.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed
so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with
this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being
referred for elevated enforcement action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
This is the response:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to
respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized)
process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the
outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skilful use of
natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state
there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a
dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate
against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers
throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not
discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is...aren't the beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to
provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both
of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that
this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other
words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and
calling their dam names.
If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition
please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay
any attention to your dam letter... they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion,
the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky
is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.
If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now.
Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass
them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are
actually defecating in our woods. I
definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam,
watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam
answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
Thank You,
Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers
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JoelP
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| posted on 28/10/03 at 11:49 AM |
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lol its the next waco in the forming...
[Edited on 28/10/03 by JoelP]
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Mark H
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 posted on 28/10/03 at 11:55 AM |
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Quality
Love it!
Mark Harrison and
Q986 KCP back from the dead...
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chrisg
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| posted on 28/10/03 at 06:55 PM |
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Mmmmmmm.......beaver
Cheers
Chris
Note to all: I really don't know when to leave well alone. I tried to get clever with the mods, then when they gave me a lifeline to see the
error of my ways, I tried to incite more trouble via u2u. So now I'm banned, never to return again. They should have done it years ago!
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