flak monkey
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:15 PM |
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:( :( :( :(
just walked in from my girlfriends, we have split up after more than four years together. Has come as a complete shock to me and I dont know what to
do other than sit here and 
She has said she isnt happy and hasnt been for a while.
Things have changed, maybe too much at once, and it all seems to have affected our relationship. I finished uni, she moved over to lynn into a rented
house and started a full time college course. I then started full time work.
Things have been different, and its been more like being friends than in a loving relationship.
Now I dont know what to do. She says she wants to be friends, and so do I. But at the moment I cant imagine it, mainly because we both still love each
other, we just weren't as happy/fulfilled as we used to be in the relationship.
If you'll excuse me, I'll just sit here for a while...
[Edited on 4/1/08 by flak monkey]
Sera
http://www.motosera.com
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graememk
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:22 PM |
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oh bugger, nowt stranger than women though.
my mrs of 11 years packed her bags 3 times last year, a bit of smoth talking got her back here ironing my shirts for me again so you never know it
might not be a total loss but maybe open your mind to change.
best of luck
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rayward
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:23 PM |
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feel for you, been there a few times myself.
but remember , everything happens for a reason!!
Ray
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speedyxjs
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:32 PM |
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Sorry to hear that. My only girlfriend ran off with another guy she met from uni and told me via e-mail 2 years ago. Hurts pretty bad
How long can i resist the temptation to drop a V8 in?
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rallyingden
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:32 PM |
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Been there ( more than once ) & got T shirt.
I let the best one go and thought I would never see her again.
A week before I got married she got in touch. We met, Talked & realised that if only we stayed friends and kept talking then we would have got
back together.
MY ADVICE
TALK TALK TALK
RD 
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TGR-ECOSSE
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:35 PM |
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Hard Lines mate. Women eh can't live with them. She says she still wants to be friends,that will stop when you start sleeping with her friends
 Thats how i met Mrs TGR 18 years ago 
Time to open a bottle but turn off your phone first or you will end up texting her your feelings at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Good Luck. Keep smiling
Ronnie
Medicine
[Edited on 4/1/08 by TGR-ECOSSE]
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stevebubs
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:36 PM |
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Big life changes (e.g. starting uni, finishing uni) tend to cause large upheavals in relationships.
Seek solace in your mates - you'll quickly find out who are the ones that matter...
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Simon
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:36 PM |
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David,
What a way to start the year. Been there (long time ago now though).
Long time, four years. Do you both want to throw it away, knowing your feelings for each other.
I was going to go into a long rambling diatribe, but think you're both probably old enough to know what'd be said.
Hope you resolve soon, though.
ATB
Simon
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Fozzie
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:36 PM |
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Oh dear .......
It sounds as though you have both had and made major life/life-style changes recently.
Some cope with it (or not) in different ways.
It maybe that she needs a longer period of adjustment.....or just some space to adjust.....
Another firm believer, of 'everything happens for a reason'.
Chin up
Fozzie
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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RichardK
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:39 PM |
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Really feel for you mate, you need your mates right now. Try to keep the communication channels open and take mate.
Rich
Gallery updated 11/01/2011
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bonzoronnie
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:45 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Fozzie
Oh dear .......
It sounds as though you have both had and made major life/life-style changes recently.
Some cope with it (or not) in different ways.
It maybe that she needs a longer period of adjustment.....or just some space to adjust.....
Another firm believer, of 'everything happens for a reason'.
Chin up
Fozzie
Yep that's my sentiments.
Give it a few day's. You never know, it may still work out for both of you.
Ronnie
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NeilP
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:46 PM |
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David,
Sorry to hear about this.
Nice weather your way tomorrow morning - Go for a slow blat and get some fresh in your head - Always helps....
HTH, Neil.
If you pay peanuts...
Mentale, yar? Yar, mentale!
Drive it like you stole it!
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Rudy
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 08:56 PM |
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Hey David, there is no friendness between a man and a woman. Let some one else to be your love.
Let your door open, there is another woman searcing you.
And now go to the pub with some friends of yours !
Tomorrow is saturday and discos are full of girls !
Sorry about my English
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tom_loughlin
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:02 PM |
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Gutted for you mate, really does hurt, really sorry to hear mate.
When I split, I found remaining friends more difficult than not...if that makes sense.
Your mates will be a massive help, mine were.
Heads up mate, things will sort themselves out
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RichieW
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:24 PM |
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Sounds like she has made her mind up.
Women rarely find begging or pleading attractive. Doubt any reasoning would change her mind either. Might be best to let her go.
Sounds like you are doing different things with your lives which rarely helps.
Really feel for you, sorry. Four years is a very long time.
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t.j.
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:29 PM |
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To bad!
It's always a pitty.
Looks like a lot of us think that live is one lovely film.
Both should except the good en worse periods in a relationship. And there are always tough times.
Maybe you will come together, maybe not.
One is for sure: There will be light after dark, whatever that will be...
Grtz and head up!
Please feel free to correct my bad English, i'm still learning. Your Dutch is awfull! :-)
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:30 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Rudy
Tomorrow is saturday and discos are full of girls !
quite right your still very young enjoy yourself, plenty time for all that seriousness later, live for now
There's plenty more fish in the sea...
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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david4
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:49 PM |
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Feel for you mate,been there i was all over the place at first and then after some time,i moved on with my life things did get better i hope it works
out what ever you decide to do.
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Mansfield
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 09:55 PM |
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I really feel for you Flak, mate.
You may well look back at all the replies to your post in a while and agree with all of them, even the slightly glib ones.
That does not help you right now though.
It hurts. It hurts a lot, and if you have never felt it before, it is unbearable for a while.
Take one day at a time. Much will happen over the coming days/weeks/months but you will work out your own path.
You should already know this but there are a lot of people on here that care about you and your well being, even if we have not met you.
David.
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caber
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:02 PM |
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Four years is a long time for a relationship without some problems developing. The problems are usually that one partner has become complacent or
insensitive to the other, usually the bloke.
I would suggest leaving things for a while and if she gets back in touch try and arrange a nice romantic evening with an open opportunity to talk,
then you do all the listening to see if you can determine if the problems are anything you can really do to change things to re-establish the
relationship. You have to be really honest with yourself here as, if you have really moved apart due to changes in your lives then you have to accept
this is the case and you will both have to move on with your lives separately.
Most of us have been here or will be here at some point in our lives. Take care things will get better.
Caber
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Agriv8
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:19 PM |
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Flak gutted.
Things will come out in the wash ( dont make any rash decisions ) & stay freinds.
Take an hour at a time and keep yourself busy ( dont dwell on old times )
Regards
Agriv8
Taller than your average Guy !
Management is like a tree of monkeys. - Those at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. BUT Those at the bottom look up and see a
tree full of a*seholes .............
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matt.c
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:19 PM |
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Will that mean you will be around mine earlier?
will chat with you on sat mate.
[Edited on 5/1/08 by matt.c]
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TimC
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:20 PM |
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David.
Ugh - I've been there as have most here probably.
It sucks at the moment mate - BUT I don't subscribe to the 'she's the One' school of human relations. I once read that the
average heterosexual man is roughly compatible with 1/3rd of women of a similar age. Hence, the world is your oyster.
Take your time - and then enjoy!
Edit for typo!
[Edited on 5/1/08 by TimC]
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BenB
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:50 PM |
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Damn. Bad luck dude. However, strange how things work in the long run!!!
My ex kicked me to the kerb after over 5 years.... Two years later met up with the missus and now unbelievably happily hitched. Hurt like f@ck at the
time but SO happy she ditched me cos otherwise I wouldn't be with the missus and instead would be in a rather dysfunctional relationship!!
Probably won't help now but in a few years you'll look back and think "jeez, what a lucky escape"....
All my friends told me this at the time and I didn't believe them!!! Experience hurts.....
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Hellfire
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| posted on 4/1/08 at 10:58 PM |
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What is it they say? - Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.
How cheesy.
Seriously though, I reckon she got fed up of you nicking her foundation, lippy and eye-shadow and something had to give......
Phil
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